Under the Aegis: Navigating Contact Through a Trauma-Informed Lens

How do we create safer, more supportive access visits for children and families in care? Guardian ad Litem Nikki McCarthy explores the emotional complexities of contact – and the importance of a trauma-informed, relationship-centred approach.

In her role as a Guardian ad Litem with TIGALA, Nikki McCarthy sees first-hand how complex and emotionally charged contact visits can be. Whether it’s a child reconnecting with a parent or a family navigating supervised access, these moments carry deep weight – and deep wounds.

“You have parents who are coming with broken hearts… and children coming upset and angry… it can make it really, really difficult in the room.”

At the heart of it all is trauma – lived, ongoing, often unspoken. Nikki encourages everyone working across the care system to start with a simple question: How has this experience affected everyone in the room? Parents. Children. Professionals. Everyone carries something.

Why Trauma-Informed Practice Matters

When trauma is present, as it so often is in the lives of children in care, it shows up in emotions, behaviours, and the space between people. Nikki suggests that a trauma-informed lens helps us respond with empathy rather than reactivity. That includes:

• Recognising how pain can manifest as defensiveness, withdrawal, or anger
• Supporting parents as people who are often grieving and overwhelmed
• Creating emotional safety for children who may not know how to process what they’re feeling
  

Trauma-informed practice doesn’t just benefit children — it strengthens outcomes across the board by bringing clarity, compassion, and stability into moments of potential rupture.

Building Emotional Safety in Contact

At TIGALA, Guardians ad Litem use attachment and trauma frameworks to guide how they think about and prepare for contact visits. For Nikki, emotional safety is foundational.

“One of the cornerstones of good relationships is everybody feeling safe.”

When visits are designed with that in mind, when children feel secure, and parents feel supported, the tone shifts. There’s less distress, more connection. But this connection doesn’t happen by accident. It takes, thoughtful planning, support for both parents and children, and both time and trust, built over many interactions.

As Nikki explains, the goal isn’t just to facilitate contact – it’s to make it good.

A Call for Systemic Support

None of this can fall on a single role. Making access more positive and meaningful requires coordinated effort across social work teams, courts, Guardians ad Litem, and family support services. Nikki encourages a system-wide approach that puts emotional safety and relational thinking at the centre.

It’s not easy work. But it’s essential – because when contact is done well, it becomes a bridge rather than a battleground.

Closing Reflection

TIGALA Guardians ad Litem bring trauma-informed, attachment-aware perspectives to their work — especially in emotionally complex areas like contact. By supporting both children and families through these moments, they help lay the groundwork for safer relationships and stronger outcomes.

For more on how TIGALA supports ongoing professional development in these areas, you can also read Val Kerr’s reflections on training, mentorship, and Radical Candour.